round 21

Munsters Footy Rant


Hi folks Matty Munster here for another rant that is insightful as Cameron Lings expert comments and butches the English language worse than Johnathan Brown. Lingys expert commentary hit a new benchmark the other night, when he commented that the reason the Crows had a heater on the bench was to, wait for it, keep em warm. Sorry to sound like a broken record but how much does he make again? Thanks to Leaping Larry L for pointing that one out.

We at ave hit the high life this weekend. Fred was in BrisVegas on tour with I Spit on Your Gravy and me and our CEO Pete attended a private party at a location cross the road from the London Tavern, with entertainment from Ron Peno and Cam Butler. Unfortunately the party, one for the ages, clashed with the Pies Lions game this week, and for me these rants are bout capturing the moment, you know the suspense of the game, will we get our regular table this week, can I finish a fag between quarter time and the bounce. I didn/t really want to do a rant on watching a replay. So instead this will just be a general rant on the Pies and some other things that ave come up during the last few rounds.

Quickly on the game bout the few moments I saw. We ave mentioned in these rants how we would scream the roof off the pub when the Shag finally kicks a goal. Finally we got our wish when he had a shot 30 out directly in front and he kicked yours truly. Massive thanks to Richard for letting me watch this historic moment on his phone. After two weeks of posters the Shag finally got a major. But when his states came up he had already kicked one. TWO GOALS. Fuck he/ll get another ten years and another 8 million dollars thrown at him. I gotta say me and my Dingley correspondent Tim ave slapped our heads over the deal the Shag has received and how little return we ave received, but this year the Shag has stepped up. He may not finish in the top five in the Copeland but this has been a solid season and shows that the Shoehorn has shown faith in the fella and this patience, as well as Eddies six million dollars, has paid off. But the question has been asked who ave the Pies beaten? As they say you can only beat who your opponent is. We lost twice to the reigning champs but went the distance for three quarters but the champs kicked away both times. The second time we had many players out and also lost two players on the day, but as our CEO Pete mentioned we would love to see a full strength Pies team play against the Tigers. Hey, they might beat us but really for our own sake we just want to see where we are at. We are still in contention for top four but we are also mathematical a chance to not make top eight at all. Last season I was hoping maybe 10th or 9th would be a good result for 2018, if you told me last year we/d be fighting for top four with two games to play id ave laughed and said buy me a beer at happy hour at the Balaclava back when that was a thing. Mind you if you told me the Balaclava where gonna get rid of the six dollar pints thats when I would ave cried. (as if writing the Bala has $5 Schooners. Im back to living the dream). Several players are out, but some of my favorites over the years such as Elliot and Fasolo ave barely played in the last few seasons and as much as they ave been great servants to the clubs, think its time we move on. We ave the depth to cover them and if we are a chance to get Tom Lynch we need all the currency we can. Wee Man is another, as much as I love the man I think its time to move on. Dole Cheque has been a great pick up for us and if Stephenson doesn/t win the Rising Star I know the AFL is even more crocked than what it already is. All I know is the Pies are a strong chance to play finals the first time in a long time and im excited. Fred in his Pub Strip in the past as threatened to paint the ESPY Black and White. With the ESPY opening soon I think its time we did our own facelift to the place.

Now onto some pieces of news during the week.

Shannon Grant. What a piece of shit. Bloke beats a women severely and he gets off on the most pissweak punishment available. A woman on Twitter made the claim he could go out and kill a woman and he literally walks free. And what a smug look he had walks virtually a free man. The judge made the claim she wanted to make a statement, and does if letting a violent man go free. Grant you/re a cunt. Hope you get syphilis and your dick falls off. I hope no football club would be stupid enough to employ this dick for anything.

Now onto dog acts of violence on the field. Andrew Gaffs punch on Andrew Brawshaw was along with Barry Halls hit on Staker as one of the worst displays ive ever seen on a football field. And one of the worst displays ive seen off field has been the reaction from the Eagles. Now Eagles fans ave said its the WA derby those in the outside wouldn/t know what a bbid deal this is and they made it seem like it was a jumperpunch. Hey, if a Collingwood player did the same hit on a Carlton player I would ave been equally as disgusted. For fuck sake don/t people see the commercials and public service announcements? One punch can kill or do major damage. As bad a shape as Brawshaw is in it could ave been a lot worse. This poor kid is on solids for awhile to come and his season is over, plus hes gonna need major dental surgery. Gaff should ave at least gotten ten weeks. And for the Eagles to say he could maybe be seen as a three week ban is a joke, as is Adam Simpson, someone who I used to think was alright, saying the punch may ave not been intentional. This isn/t Pink Panther movie, where Inspector Clouseau slips over and runs around the room and ruins the joint. The incident happened a significant distance from the ball and turned around and waited a second to go bang. Nothing nonintentional in this. The support shown to Gaff while a poor kid is all shaken up has made me sick. Watching Gary Lyon say hey he made a mistake we all do has lost whatever credibility he had ages ago. He Gary, aving an affair with your mates wife, is that a mistake everyone makes? Just fuck off. And watching dinosaurs Mark McClure and David King defend Gaff, plus for the Eagles on the weekend to tweet they send poor Gaff a team photo and wanted to share with the world just makes me hate footy club culture and makes me glad I aint in whatever messed up environment they ave. The Eagles players ave no shame and for there twat of a CEO to say Ross Lyon stepped over the line saying how dear me mention the incident makes me never want y go to Perth ever.

Finally Tom Lynch. What has he done wrong exactly? The mans out of contact, hes got a lot of coin to his name, so of course anyone that has the money is going to go after him. I always found it funny how in AFL when a bloke is out of contact they would say all the 101s like I love the club and I wanna stay but we need to sort out the contact details and all that bull shit, and usually they would be the coaches version of saying they ave Full support of the board, meaning there gone at season end. Yet in the NRL blokes out of contact at the end of year will come out at the start of the season and just straight up say yeah im going home to so and so. And they still play the whole season no issue. Im not saying the NRL culture is something we should embrace but Lynch has basically been called a shit bloke for saying he wants to leave yet it seems in NRL they just say ok and move on with the season. Well, to be fair the only people saying hes a shit bloke is the Suns CEO so no one really cares. I ave no sympathy for the Suns. A club started by the AFL, given every advantage with the draft and revenue and are now crying poor and holding their hands out saying gimme gimme gimme to Stifflers Dad. Now, I got no problem with them getting a first round pick in exchange for Lynch as thats a swap for swap deal but to want a priority pick because we got problems, get fucked. How bout building up a culture and making an environment where people want to stay and not leave the second they can?

But onto some good news, ave really enjoyed this season so far, and for the last few years ive been watching the matches with Fred and Pete and we try and get our hi5s down pat, buts its been great aving Gordon and John join us, as well as non pies fans Terry, Jussy, Johhny, Bernie and GG, especially when GG don/t ave glasses. Its been a top season and I forgot what it feels like to win all the time. I like it hope it keeps going.

Anyway sorry if this wasn/t the rant you expected. Next week we go to Adelaide to Play Port. Not sure what day it is but drop by the Balaclava and say hi. Just don/t take our table.


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