UFC 229 Khabib vs. McGregor

Now. Since football season is over I thought id ave a go covering other sports for Freds site. I certainly don/t claim to be an expert in sports, fuck im hardly an expert in football, so against my better judgement im gonna cover/rant on the UFC, and what a card to start a rant on. UFC 229, featuring their most anticipated main event in ages, Conor McGregor after two years out of the sport taking on lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov.  These two really hate each other and has an old school professional wrestling build up. Back in April McGregor attacked a bus, yes a bus, with Khabib and his teammates inside. Two where badly hurt, McGregor punched a UFC official and faced criminal charges. McGregors punishment from UFC? A title match of course. See kids be a cunt and you too will go unpunished as long as your the money maker for the brand. He has a bit mouth on him and hope the Russian will shut him up.

Ive always loved boxing and wrestling as far as I can remember, but UFC I came late to. I first heard of it when UFC legends Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn where in the WWF. Later I watched their second UFC fight which saw them dance for twenty minutes before a punch was thrown. Not the best introduction to MMA. When Brock Lesnar left WWF to join their heavyweight division I was keen to see more. Then he lost his first fight and I lost interest. Then he became heavyweight champion, but what got me back was after one of this victories he got on the mic, with the crowd booing the shit outta him, saying there trash, hes gonna drink a beer (I forget the brand but it was the one that is not a UFC sponsor) and would go down on his wife. UFC had a pro wrestling heel, this man didn/t give a fuck bout anyone or anything, he was a wrestling bad guy except he meant every word. when he told the fans to get fucked he meant it, I was excited and been a fan ever since. My only other time covering UFC was in these rants, when I asked Mad Rad who won the title fight and he replied the big cunt. Given it was a heavyweight fight he wasn/t wrong. The other time was UFC 225 when I just kept commentating on Yoel Romeros tight shorts and how big his cock was. So ill try and keep my mind outta the gutter and focus on the actual fights.

I arrive at the Balaclava at some time, im not sure due to this fucking daylight savings. The clock radio says one thing the phone says another. I think ill do what Kramer says and just look at the sun and guess. Or its time to go home when the 30th fag hits the gob. Unlike last weekend where I was a fucking wreck due to the grand final, this week im relaxed and happy to see me dear mate and just looking forward to a fine card. Chrisi is loving today shes got this and Bathurst to watch. She happy James Courtney is out

Joe Rogan says this is a culture event and international event and a million other events. Joe describes it as the Irish Gorilla vs a bloke that wrestled bears when he was a kid. If that doesn/t get people to buy this PPV I don/t know what will. I do really fucking love this pub the Balaclava. This is the perfect place to watch sport. I enjoy Joe Rogans commentary but with friends like Alex Jones and Anthony Cumia im a bit sceptical of him.

Chrisi pulls up a BBC article seven things we need to know bout the fight. Fact one is its Conors first fight in two years, and five other facts I already knew. There is one fact I didn/t know and that’s the fight is on 5:30AM UK time. Yeah thanks BBC, thats why they get the big bucks with facts like what time things are on.

Prelim fights

Womens Strawweight opens the card. An All American Affair with Michelle Waterson taking on Felice Herrig. Felice has some really weird beads in her hair and Michelle is wearing a shirt which is never a good sign. Usually when a wrestler wears a shirt its a sign they/ve given up so not sure I like this in UFC. Bruce Buffer the poor mans Buffer is wearing a cheap suit he probably from a garage sale hes more well-known brother Michael had. Solid opening bout with Michelle getting the W. Next we ave the heavyweight bout between Derrick Lewis and Alexander Volkov. Chrisi is pumped to see Volkov. Remember seeing him a few years back, a real slugger and old school bar fighter if I saw one. Him and Lewis exchanged blows with Volkov getting the upper hand in the first round. But his mouthguard came out and the ref stops for him to reinsert, with the restart we got one more second before the bell. Volkov does an old cheap heel trick but claiming he was poked in the eye and calls a timeout without asking the ref if it was cool. Calling your own time out can lead to a atomic disqualification. Lewis and Volkov are tied up and Lewis pretty much falls on top of Volkov. It was much brutal than how it sounds, a big 120KG and seven foot fella falling on top of you. I don/t care who you are thats gotta hurt. Volkov took both first two rounds for me and on his way to taking the third, but Lewis unleashes a left hook from Hell with 20 seconds to go. Looking at the replay Volkov was gone with that punch, Lewis capitalizes and strikes on the ground, ten seconds to go ref calls it off and awards it to Lewis, who goes to his knees and does the cut throat action. Brilliant old fashioned heavyweight fight, not a technical classic but a brilliant heavyweight fight almost bare knuckle slugfest. Lewis was literally on his way to a Loss but pulled a classic win outta nowhere. Just wondering how the fuck he managed that punch so late in the fight after taking all that punishment astounds me. A hellava performance from both guys and an amazing finish that you cant script .the next fight I had little interest in, but the Tony Ferguson/Anthony Pettis was a ripper. The second round was a blood fest and both guys went blow for blow. Brilliant stuff. i got for a fag and find a crap cock and balls on my notes. i suspect Chrisi but it was Leeroy. Chrisi shows how she would ave drawn em. judge yourself which is better.


Main event time

Im picking the Russian

Conor walks out and does his usual strut which make him look like a wanker, but Khabib music is like Maria Carey so two wankers don/t make it right. Bruce Buffer has changed his suit, nice he brings out the shit suit for the undercards and wears the nice suit, the one that cost more than 20 bucks for possibly the biggest fight in MMA history. Our friend and MMA expert Leaping Larry L informs Chrisi by text if Khabib can keep him off his feet he/ll win


Ive been watching boxing since I was a kid and ive never seen his much police/security presence. Pommy Dave and Leeroy join us. They said there would be no handshake before are after and they keep their word. Conor goes for the attack which sees Khabib on the backfoot, but goes for the grabbling early. The crowd is shitting on Khabib for this. Hes able to throw a few effective punches, Chrisi says its nice to see young men hugging. Pommy Dave thinks there instigating a drug deal.

Khabib won the round for me. Conor already looks tired.

Round 2.

What the fuck is Modulo? I see it everywhere on the ring floor advertising. Never heard of it.  Flying kick from Khabib hits but does little damage. Applies a slam and goes back to grabbling. Conor gets out and goes for he roundhouse kick but cant connect, Khabib lands a few punches and gets him on the ground. Anyone else this could ave been over but Conor gets back to his feet. Khabib gets him in another hold as I cant see Conor seeing five rounds. Khabib gets Conor back on the ground Conor gets his foot on the cage but Khabib takes care of that. Is that legal putting his leg on the cage? Conor is holding on, hes known for seeing the distance and winning in the last round, so Khabib really needs to put him away now. Conor looks fucked but I would never write him off., but he can barely land a punch this round. More grabbling sees out the round. Khabib has done everything right so far.

Round 3

.Like the first round Conor comes out with Khabib on the backfoot but more effective this time. He throws a few punches but the Russian gives a few back. Conor throws and uppercut which could ave been devastating if it connected. Khabib trys to get it back on the ground but Conor gets his way outta it. The Crowd is really behind Conor, astounding given hes a cunt. Both guys held their own but Conor won the round for me. What a fight, this has certainly lived up to the hype. Conor was fucked at the end of the fist two but shown hes going down swinging.

Round 4.

Conor again comes out with the early strikes but Khabib gets him on the cage. He gets him in a chock hold that looks like Scott Steiner used as his finisher.


Fuck what a fight. Conor after two years out gave a great performance but he was no match. Was it ring rust or just got found out by a better fighter? Either way, Khabib, with the exception of round 3 which was McGregors, fought a near perfect fight. I can find no faults in his performance.


I turn for second and I see its on for young and old both ringside and in the octagon. I just see the punches being thrown I missed what happened. Khabib jumps the cage and goes after one of Conors team while members are Khabib possie run after the Irishman. This is fucked. This is why they had extra security and cops. That night and the day after i read multiple reports of what lead to all this, but this is fucked. The way Khabib was treated by Camp McGregor was a disgrace and I don/t blame him for wanting revenge on that big mouth but he should ave just taken the win. And those guys that jumped McGregor are cowards. Again he has a mouth and a cunt but hardly brave trying to fight someone who is down, and even worse one punched, or at least tried to, Conor from behind. McGregor leaves. Dana White is pissed, refuses to give Khabib the belt in the ring for fear of a riot. Khabib hits the showers. No belt presentation, No Joe Rogan interviewer. Just Bruce Buffer announcing the result.

Dana White in the presser says Khabibs purse is being held and the State Commission will investigate. Khabib comes out for a minute, apologizes but not to McGregor, says you don/t fuck with the mans family or religion or country. I agree with one of those statements.

Fuck, what to make of this. Theres trash talk and ways to promote a fight and then theres being a cunt. McGregor stepped over the line calling Khabib dad a coward, accusing one of his team of being a terrorist, throwing a kick at Khabib at the weigh in, and of what else did he, oh yeah THE FUCKING BUS EPISODE. Two blokes hurt and also, as Dave Meltzer reported, throwing punches at UFC staff. The fact they used the bus footage to pump the fight is shameful, and to use it to make Conor the good guy is poor form. Dana White says he doesn/t regret it but this was a black eye to the sport even without this brawl. The fact McGregor hadn/t fought in two years and the bad blood was enough of a selling point, they didn/t need to bring the criminal activity into the picture. And Khabibs. cornermen who jumped Conor should be banned (which Dana White claimed he would do) but for him jumping the cage, its understandable given the shit he was put through but he should ave taken the high road. The win should ave been enough to shut Camp McGregor up. The Fact that Joe Rogan and the other callers where condemning Khabib yet saying how great humble Conor was in defeat shows where loyalties lie and is a complete joke. The fact they didn/t bring up any of the back story (AGAIN THE FUCKING BUS) is just baffling. Sure Conor is their biggest box office draw but to turn an eye to his past activities is a disgrace and makes the company look stoopid. What punishment should Khabib get? Fine him sure, but suspension? For me no. McGregor has an appalling back catalogue of behaviour and has never been punished by the UFC. Again the bus, and attacking a referee at a Bellator event saw no punishment from Dana White. Surely therefore Khabib cant be suspended. Fine him, or suspend him for a month but don/t do it for a year which would see him lose the belt. If that was the case that would be a double standard, and unfortunately I think we/re going to see one.

Bryan Alverz said we saw the best and worst of UFC on this card, and said the post match really wasn/t a surprise which I agree with. There was a lot of good on this card. Derrick Lewis had a comeback for the ages and the main event lived up to the hype. Overall it was a brilliant card top to bottom but unfortunately the post fight is what everyone will remember. What should ave been UFCs finest moment will go down as a black eye. Everyone involved looked bad.

As for McGregor, he should keep quiet for a while.

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