Grand Final vs Eagles part 2

Now. Part one of the story ended with our heroes 12 points up at the main break. After a fresh air break that was like circle work with the amount of times we had to pass it to the left hand side I find my seat and brace myself for what is to come. I thought a Suns player won the grand final sprint but turns out was someone from a different club. Damn, the sprint is pretty much the only silverware the Sun are ever gonna win. They truly are fucked. The Gold Coast aint suffered this much since the days of that cunt Sir Joh, who I look forward to pissing on when I get to hell.  Im a fucking nervous wreck, I wish I did get heroin. As the bounce is bout to start Fred tells me to get on to the shoehorn to crush kill destroy McGovern. Game starts JFK marks 40 out. Fucking goal six point game.  Adams smoothers the kick from the square Samurai scoops it kicks high ball to the Shag handballs to Langdon kicks to the Screwdriver, Eagles coming, runs it over for a throw. Adams held free to Samurai AGAIN COX CANT MARK Trav manages to grab the pill kick to Dole Cheque who tries Cox again and gives us another drop mark. He needs to lift this quarter. Eagles to Dole Cheque, he tries Cox again. FINALLY YES.  30 out, I love that American Pie. 45-33. HI 5 time, we raise our hands high in the air for the big American. GG gives our effort a 4 outta 10. Ball ends in the Eagles end Langdon fucks up the mark, probably the only mistake hes made all day, but he still gets the ball and kicks in the back of Coxs head, Dole Cheque somehow ends up with the ball high ball, Langdon stands tall but the Eagles are too string , they fucking get six points. Straightaway Samurai wins the tap to Brownlow handballs to the Gooster Adams feeds the goal 51-39. Eagles ave a shot we get the chewy on the boot rose has trusted us with and it proves good as they miss. Cox still cant mark passes off to Krebbs the Shag is giving brilliant pressure as Ryan is held. Brownlow kicks to Eagles bloke, kicks to a contest, Cox punches to Sier kicks to a contest too which leads to a throw in, as we see Scott Morrison on the box, much like Julie Bishop he gets a right royal booing from the two pubs at the Balaclava. Hmm while both got an awful reception, Julie got the worse. Doesn/t matter, there both cunts. Shag gets to ball from a hit out kicks to eagles bloke, who kicks out and payed deliberate to us. Fred says there is a god. Free to the Hyphen Sidie takes two on one Thomas to the Gooster misses 52-40. Tez says next goal is important.  Im just waiting for BT to say the Eagles need the next two goals. Aww he doesn/t. Darling marks goal back to six points. Shag to Aish Dole Cheque cant hold Eagles pick up misses five point game. Cox to Trav Eagles intercept, Bruce says the Eagles are coming. They always where coming Bruce. Seriously, just retire. Please go away. Eagles kick to other Eagles, Adams pushes, and the runner gets in the way. Adams is livid. Now people ave called this a crucial point in the game and a what if? Look, there was a big distance between Adams and the Eagles bloke, it looked like he had little chance of actually getting the ball. And with a quarter to go lets not dwell on this. Anyway they score pies down by two. Round this time Nat McGuane spills beer on my notes, and given it was two weeks ago im not even gonna try and remember what happed. My notes say scores leveled at three quarter time so ill go with that. The beer on my notes was my beer, Nat said shed buy me a new one. She never did. And our great mate Bernie Two legs enters


Three quarter time


Collingwood Eagles 55 apiece.


That smoko was the longest five minutes of my life. Not sure I want to go back in. Outstanding start Dole Cheque to the Gooster bang five point lead. NOW THIS IS WHERE MY NOTES FAIL ME. Eagles point, Goosters ducks eagles post Langdon Samurai Cox. Not sure what happened I just wrote those names down in order. Darling is held Eagles mark 50 out Shag marks on the square. Dole Cheque pinned but gets it out Samurai is also held Krebbs passes to Cox marks 40 out Its a low kick looks shit but somehow goals 73-62. Sier is held Ryan passes to JFK , HES ON A TIGHT ANGLE NAILES IT BACK TO FIVE POINTS, AS Julie Bishop gets another royal whack. Cox beaten in the 50 Eagles mark leads to a throw in. Richo says marks aint everything. Again like Bruce just retire. BT says people don/t know which way its going this game. I think its his clever way of saying its anyones game. Darling drops the mark right in front of goal leads to a rush. My notes let me down, in summary Eagles chip away with points and kicks to Collingwood players, but every kick we had in the Eagles 50 for ten minutes we just kicked to the Eagles, we can by a fucking target. Adams has the ball in out 50 with minutes to go but the kick is smothered. Eagles take ball up, Krebbs charges but Ryan gets in the way with a Shepard. Goal. And ill leave the game at that.


With two minutes to go I know we aint gonna win I just wanna get the fuck out and smoke. But I figure be a good sport and watch the game out. I do, Fred and Jackie make the deflated balloons noise. I walk out. Some mutual fans offer me condolences on the walk out the door I nod and be polite but really I just want to be alone. Brad lovely aunt, the lone Eagles fan is near the door. Shes happy as she should be, I offer my congratulations. She tells me she has had a wonderful day and thanks us all for making it happen. While im gutted its nice to hear words like that. Win or loss we always come together and ave a laugh and beer after the game. Its why I love this game you can bear your heart n soul scream and lay abuse at the telly but at the end, W or L life goes on and mates are always there. Thats something that lasts longer than a Saturday arvo game of footy.


Me Pete and Gordon ave our heads down while aving a dart. Some stoopid man tells us we need a Rioli. I say yeah good onya and he quickly walks away. Pete tells us thats why he earns no bucks. After the game GG kindly offers a beer, while I throw the water ballons I was planning on throwing after the game on the bar which I offer to Sarah who looks at me if ive gone mad. While we didn/t get the result I ave loved this day. Brad comes over for a hug and tells me we played well and was one of those games one team was lucky the other was unlucky. Again I talk with his aunt, such a beautiful soul, very blessed to meet her. The Randtsa and Dave walk in for a quick beer then its off to Johnnys for the Hanks for a ripping night. As I walk home I hug Fred and he tells me hes seen so many 12 Grand finals losses two draws and two wins, today will make the next win even better. Bernie Two Legs possibly gave us the best compliment ever, saying we brought Collingwood to St Kilda.


The next day me and the two Bernies over many red bottle of wine dissect the game and look forward to next season


But on Saturday night walking home, as I walk down Tennyson Street  I see some guy in a suit. We look at each other. I don/t trust this guy. He crosses the road to my side, I want to avoid him so I cross to his side. We meet halfway on the road. He says the magic words. Want some fresh air? This man is not someone I should ave crossed the road to avoid. Hes been to the game and we Annelyse what went right and wrong. Basically everything I wrote above in a five minute walk. He tells me if I know the Blue Lagoon. Its a house on Tennyson which is the living quarters of Azz and Bray, two lovely fellas who are always out the front of the place and ave always welcomed me in for a beer. Me and my new friend enter. As we greet our hosts they ask the beer question I say thanks but im just saying hello. They offer me a traveler. How can I say no? I neck the beer and leave it on a wobbly set of bricks. As I walk away and hear the Corona bottle smash on the concrete, a simple jester of beer and air, one from mates and another from a stranger, shows all that is good in the world and humanity can be alright when it wants to be, and despite the result I was surrounded by the best mates a miserably nihilist like me can ave. these people, all good souls that look after their mates and even make me see there is good in the world. Im very blessed to ave spent the day with these people, couldn/t ave asked for a better crew to kill an arvo sinking piss and watching footy. They give me a lot of joy hope I give em some too. Even the Ransta after his Anti Collingwood smack talk on the facecrock during the week was nice seeing him.


We didn/t get the result, the Eagles where just too good, but to come from nowhere and make the final and get so close, with every bloke giving it all, they did me proud. And I saw a lot of anti Collingwood shit on the facebook after the game, but mostly from people who wheren/t even Eagles fans, just jealous cunts who wished they could go for us. Well done to the Eagles you played a great game, but despite the result i/ll look back on this as one of the best days had.


Onya to GG for booking the room, cheers to Gav for cooking the party pies, jeers for not cooking the little boys.


I ave more to rant on and more to mention, but it/ll ave to wait for the end of season rant. And since it is end of seaon, it/ll come, when im asked, or when the Balaclava acknowledge its Petes birthday.

Posted on 8 Comments

8 thoughts on “Grand Final vs Eagles part 2

  1. Nice one Matty. Thanks for all the rants this year. Been a pleasure hanging with you all to watch a team I don’t even barrack for. Bad Luck Pies – GO SAINTS!

    1. thank YOU gg had a blast spending the season with ya. thanks for the support with the rants really means a lot. see you at boo club soon.

      1. Thanks Matt. Yer right, it was a great day. Footy is grouse and GF day is always fun – especially when you’re team isn’t playing! We’re happy that Collingwood is in St kilda, just stop beating us!

        1. was a great day, as alwasy brilliant to see you look forward to next season x

  2. I got lost in the misery of our loss Matt. I will buy you one next time I see you. I promise. Cross my heart.

    1. all good Nat, no need for beer. great seeing you as always x

  3. No I will buy you one. I forgot all about that. As I said, got totally lost in my thoughts, because we bloody lost. I am one to keep my promises.

    1. Aww thanks love appreciate it . think we all got lost in our thoughts that day x.

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