Round 7 v Port

After a solid month tonights match intrigues me. We/ve been alright but Port can be hot and cold, so will be interesting to see which Port side comes out.

I Arrive at Surabaya Johnnys, the usual suspects of lovely people, Elizabeth, Charlie Jo are all here. Dave demands I stay at half time as hes telling a story about Meat Loaf, or Our Loaf as he insists he be called. I duck out for a fag and Pete pops his head out to say we/re on GO GO GO to the Bala. But turns out that we/re early and we can stroll as opposed to bolt which is nice. With five minutes to the bounce we arrive at the Balaclava and I ave time for another fag. GG enters and we/re ready. We lay two tackles early on as BT says they are tackling already, good to know Brian. Roughead stops Ryder from taking a mark Speedboy to Matrix to Reid marks 45 out angle wont be an issue. Great kick but touched on the line. BT says this will be a problem if Reid plays well. Krebs goes to Reid again, Sidie scoops the ball kick is smothered, which cunt carey calls a body smoother. Isn/t that just a smoother? Anyway Pamela is there spins around 10 out and we/re off 7-0. Sidie straight to Port player, Bruce says Port needs hands on the ball. Do channel 7 feel sorry for this old fool? Is that why he has a job? Screwdriver to Samurai Pamela in the square hes going for a threepeat 13-0. GG brings up the Mick Molloy commercial of if your losing by 24 points, or is that winning? I don/t pay attention to these blood money ads. . Port goes 50 for the first time Ryder is standing right on the line but Krebs is there and he drops the ball which leads to no score. As we cut to a replay of Samurai throwing the ball. Shit kick from port held up ball leads to Port scoring a point. Richo takes time to say Port won three clearances, as if that is some kind of achievement. Pamela marks 40 out just misses. Moore marks in the center, Dole Cheque marks 15 out on the boundary. Outstanding kick 20-2. Bruce says we/re suffocating Port, thats a criminal offence Bruce. BT says no breaks on the Pies. Straightaway Matrix stops the breaks and kicks backwards. Fucking goose. Pamela is given a free 40 out hes kicked three in a quarter 26-2. Port miss, Bruce says Port need to settle down to which BT says yes. Screwdriver to Sidie Billy marks 40 out so much for settling down hey port? Bruce says Crisp pick pocketed the ball. Another crime we/ve committed according to Bruce. We get up and dance which I always love 32-2. As we see Ken Hinkley on the source with a can of Coke, but its the zero sugar one. Fucking weak as piss. We cut to someone in the crowd who know one knows who they are. Their port people we think. As Pete says the worst thing about coming from interstate is you cant do the phantom. Also where the fuck is Kochie? And more importantly the fucking Cash Cow? The Hyphen to Pamela and this could be a pantsing in the making but he misses. Richo says port need to ave a chat. Hmm maybe kick more goals? Crisp marks out in the center Bruce says Port need a goal for fuck sake. Speedboy is given a free misses from 50 Howe is given a free Billy gets the scrappy ball bang outstanding 40-3. Greenwood to Moore shit kick thought as Port intercept but kicks straight to Langdon. As Pete mentions even when they give Port the ball they still do nothing with it. Brownlow to Billy who handballs to Beams 55 out fuck what a kick as I demand to know where Kochie and the fucking cash cow is. Sam wants me to mention that last effort was teamy and that Moore had nice hair.

Quarter Time

Pies 48

Port 3

Pete thinks Hinkley is the Cashcow. I take my time with smoko and also run to the bar as the game starts but they score a goal. The barmen tells me this is what happens when you move from your spot. Reid has a thumping kick brilliant stuff but they cut to the review and its touched even though you cant tell from that fucking stoopid review. Screwdriver to Reid Dole Cheque cant hold the mark handballs to Reid he finally got one 55-9. Pamela to Speedboy drops the ball over for a throw in. Port 50 out we/re all over em. Matrix to the Gooster 30 out misses Bucks aint happy. Port get a second goal. Crisp to Krebs Gooster runs Pamela cant hold Port runs over for a point, Colin enters and Pommy Dave pops his head in. Port goal and BT is on the Port bandwagon now. The great Mike Williams sadly passed away during the week. Bruce mentions who we were winning by 41 points and Carlton grand final. Hes amused himself he starts laughing. Good things he has as none of us are or no one in the commentary box are either. Reid not payed a free for in the back. We wonder if the cashcow tossed the coin. Port goal again and BTs pulling himself red raw over this situation with port fighting back as Kochie is saying to the pilot turn the plane around.  Gooster has another shit shot which takes us to 30 point lead. As GG mentiones great player but Gooster not a good drink driver. Or a liar. Loose ball Billy to Reid tackled and leads to a throw in. Viv gets the veal but no garlic bread. Port ave a shot as Bruce says oh they need this. Fuck sake. Anyway they get another goal before the quarter. As Bruce says Port are getting closer. Onya Bruce

Half Time

Pies 60

Port 36

Hmm 24 point lead at the main break? GG mentions the 24 point cash out thing.

A bloke tells me out the front during smoko that if you gamble your gonna ave a shit life. Is he the cashcow? Other half time discussions include me seeing a famous celebrity chef at KFC the other night and whether Viv got garlic bread with her veal.  As game starts Hyphen goals up by an even five goals. Port ave a shot 30 out and miss the lot, Bruce says he missed a chance. Does he know where the bodies are buried at 7? Im still mystified why hes employed and why Peter Donegan aint on TV. Sidie does a great Shepard to give Speedboy free leverage to run wild, as Pete tells me his plan to run for office on the platform of why does the 3 tram come before the 16. Yesterday I saw two 3As come before a 16 so hes got a point. Fred tells us to focus. Beams misses as Bruce says hes not happy and hes disappointed. Moore takes a great mark as always, handballs to the Hyphen kicks to Krebs lost the ball, Pamela on the pocket kicks to Dole Cheque hes held leads to throw in. Gooster flys straight to Sidie punches to Pamela handballs to Dole Cheque kicks to Langdon 15 out but misses. BT says something bout rolling the dice, which I dont understand when its a set shot 15 meters out with a quarter and a half to go. Lingy decides hes a body language expert talking the Pies body language on the bench. Well there another topic Lingy knows nothing about on top of football.  Dole Cheque 60 from home, nice to see he got off the couch to play again, hes been on a role.  Short kick to Speedboy Gooster beats bloke theres no one in the 50 he runs 40 meters BANG 74-42.  Hyphen to Beams to Reid 30 out just misses, Brownlow to Moore, back to Brownlow goal of the year 81-42. Port bloke has a shot, BT says hes a reliable kick. Of course he misses. Screwdriver to Reid 15 out for fuck sake another miss. Dole Cheque fucks up a kick from 40 and that will do us. He must ave wanted to get on the couch to watch Friends.

3 Quarter Times

Pies 83

Port 43.

After I run in from smoko I see the Shag in the crowd I get on my hands and knees and bow down to the great man. Straightaway Pamela goals 89-43. Beams to Brownlow kick is shit but Moore keeps it in, handballs to Dole Cheque oh fuck yeah 95-43. GG Demands I call it, so I do, I write game over in the notes, buts it/s a hollow victory because I demand to see the Cashcow and expose Hinkley at said cow Scooby Doo style. I again get on my knees as we cut to the Shag again whose next to Cox, what a duo those two are, Shag as Pete says should get 10 votes for showing up Moore marks in the Port 50 Dole Cheque to Speedboy kicks to Billy and we dance again 101-61. Port mark by some bloke Sam says has pretty hair. He aint happy. The front bar is closed and im pissed. Krebs to Matrix Sidie incredible 107-67. At this point BT asks Richo what time does he like to take naps. Even then Richo still has nothing to contribute, it almost feels like he needs his wife to text in to tell us what time it is he naps. The callers start the countdown clock. With four minutes to go, yep there that pathetic and that will do


Pies 108

Port 69

No photo description available.

After the game Pete informs us that he found Troughman in the toilets. I give this little thought. Later GG gets us a car to see Kim Volkman play a killer set at the Lyrebird. I crash at 1AM but wake up at 3AM in horror at the fact I missed seeing Troughman

Solid win, brilliant first quarter. Just wish we could ave seen that dickhead Kochie in the crowd and seen him miserable. That man is in my opinion contributed nothing to society and his morning show is neither entertaining or trustworthy news wise, nothing but gutter journalism, him and that whole team are the Bruce and Richo and BT of News, nothing to say just carrying on and pissing in each others mouths thinking there doing a good job. Well actual no, he did contribute the Cashcow which im sure Travis Boak will now ave to wear for a week.

And of course condolences to the poor Collingwood players that had to deal with Roaming Brian after the game.

Anyway, good win, see yous next week for the Baggers.


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