After a disappointing loss and a month of alright but not great performances the Pies need a convincing win to cement there spot as contenders. The big Texan Cox is back which im happy about, so lets see what unfolded.
I walk in to the Balaclava bout ten minutes before the bounce. On the route I was rushing down as I walked past a poster for whats coming up at the Prince Bandroom. I ave to turn around as I thought it said Ween. But it said Weened the Melbourne tribute band. Sigh. I push on. Jackie texts me in advance to let me know that the fucking poker tables are already out, but we got bout four tables pushed together so we/re set, much better than the lounge set up we/ve had the last few weeks. GG John and Jackie are here, while our mate Tim is the new face in hell joining us for the first time who screams go North. Fred and Sam enter with seconds to go before the bounce.
Pamela marks in the 50 within the first few seconds thanks to a brilliant kick from Brownlow. Has a kick from 35 out but hits the post. Krebs kicks to Pamela again but with two Dees on him he falls short of the contest, Sidie smoother the balls as the Dees try and get it out the 50, Pamela is again the target but is pinned, Umpires ball. Fred screams kick him again ya mug hes still breathing, Tim asks if thats an LP title. He reckons it might be a Scorpions LP. If that/s true leave a comment in the section below. Hyphen to Brownlow to Matrix kick is marked by the Dees 15 from our goal Hyphen smoothers the Dees attempt to leave the 50 Matrix picks up but can only manage a minor. Cox butches the ball, Moore is able to swoop in, finds the Samurai, Sam is already drooling over him, as our mate Gordon arrives. THE Samurai finds Hyphen kicks 40 meters to Dole Cheque, hes held and awarded a free Pamela takes advantage and goes fucking bang 8-0. Screwdriver is paid a free finds Pamela, Tim Watson claims Pamela got the ball because his opponent took his eyes off the ball. That/s the smartest thing any of the commentators say all day as speed will become the topic of conversation all day. Obviously not POW Speed as it/s closed. Anyway Pamela shanks it to get this second crucial point Aish holds Jones over the line for a throw in. the Shags is there and i get all excited and hot under the collar. Tim finds my fascination and love with the Shag curious. The Dees finally go 50 for the first time the balls been in ours for six minutes, Matrix is aving none of it and punches the ball out but it lands with the Dees but they only get a minor. Sier lands a good hit 15 from Dees goal, throw up. Barney is hit by Son of rowdy. The commentators mention Max Gawn, and hes described as big bush and something to do with lush, we point out its sounds like masturbating. Lana enters Dees miss from a free. Pies take it up straightaway Dole Cheque beats two finds the Gooster and we blow our load at the perfect time 15-1. Howe takes mark of the year but gives away a free, they fuck up the kick, Dole Cheque again goes 50 Hyphen marks brilliant stuff 21-1. Tim asks is Darcy Moore too pretty to be a great footballer? I ponder this. I ask is there anyone in the hall of fame that you would consider a dreamboat? I found Peter Daicos and spunk. Dess hit the post. They ave another shot dues to a bullshit deliberate over the line but thankfully nothing happens. Pamela kicks to the Gooster but he errors it and leads to throw in. Shag kicks to, well the Shag, finds the Hyphen 45 out, but stoopidly plays on has a kick but touched on the line. Too cocky there my boy. Sidie to Screwdriver Pamela just holds on 40 out, falls short Trav lands a great hit to force a throw in, umps throw lands with the Dees but Sidie holds him, a fucking dribble kick from Cox leads to ball lands over the line . The Dees ave a dribble kick themselves but from 5 meters out he aint gonna miss. If you miss from there I would ave dragged and delisted the bastard.
Dees go 50 Moore holds ball tight, finds Shag, to which Tim looks at me and says your boy. My boy, I love the sound of that. Again I get hot under the collar I need to run to the bar. My pants might ave moved too. Mr Football Waz enters and the Ransta also joins the table. Dees goal as Shag tried to tackle but was too late Samurai taps to Pamela, Tim says hes the best ruckman hes seen in 50 years. Fred informs me, look at the end of the game Pamelas points will all be crucial to the win. I couldn/t agree more. He demands the sound be put up. Waz says why we need sounds, I say for the stoopid comments. Waz makes the claim if we just want that we should ave Parliament question time on instead. True, but I cant relate to that, wheres if they kick more goals they/ll win I can relate to. Samurai goals, theres six of us to get the high 5s and cha cha chas this is gonna be tough. I think we do a reasonable job but GG aint impressed and only gives us a 3 out of 10. 30-14. Moores on the telly and we all agree hes a gorgeous man. Anyway, specking of handsome, Samurai DDTs a Dee and taken for high Matrix manages to stop the charge has a run finds the Gooster hes being held but manages to soccer it from 15, oh fuck me what a goal 36-14. Hyphen takes an outstanding mark Samurai to Trav back to the Hyphen Speedboy Son of Rowdy no mark Sier runs in and misses. Crisp straight to Dees Sidie to Krebs as GG takes the light out for the first time this season. Dees goal. Great mark from Cox 55 out but Dees take a pack mark just short of goals. BT says that enormous confidence right there. I would ave thought you could ave just said confidence and left it there. Trav to Krebs awful kick but Dole Cheque scoops in amazing 43-21. Samurai to Dole Cheque again and im walking over to hi 5 but I blow my load too soon. We all do as its just a point. Tim Watson claims the Dees need speed. He doesn/t say where they/re going to find it. Certainly not at the POW. It/s at the G, that/s near Victoria Street. Id like to see Watson out there chasing. Cox marks, Hamish says slight linage to Cox, GG says like society. Fred informs me, look at the end of the day Cox Shag Demons. Unfortunate the Sun didn/t ave that as there headline on Tuesday.
Half time consists of kick to kick in the carpark. Only one car was hit. I was able to kick a footy while with a fag in my mouth. Hey Bucks can anyone on the list do that? A Cramps dance party happens, and GG decides he doesn/t want to play kick to kick by playing rugby and the only one to score a try, or score at all. Why is it a try? In gridiron when you score it/s a touchdown, that/s inspiring, try is like ah ya had a go. Anyway, Dees miss to start BT says the Dees need a patch whatever that is. Fred reckons they need speed, or a smoker. If that/s the case id be all Australian level. Gorgeous Moore marks and we all cheer for the handsome one. Pamela to Brownlow to Trav. Fred demands I get on to the shoehorn and tell Bucks to decapitate one of the Dees. I do my Ross Lyon voice meaning no one will understand what im on about. Trav kicks to Pamela, John says another crucial point is coming up, hes right. Tim Watson says he needs to find his mind. Maybe he needs my top half of my head, wherever the fuck that is. Finally Pamela gets another goal, GG say his new name should be BFT, ie Bout Fucking Time. BT says hes trying to focus on mark of the year when he shouldn/t. I think he was more concerned taking the mark and if he got a nomination for mark of the week well good on him. Dees goal but you wouldn/t know due to BTs lack of enthusiasm. GG says if they get two more it will be interesting and Fred inform that’s why he gets the big bucks. Dees ave a shot as it take that as a piss break. When I enter the CEO Pete is here I ask if they got the goal, Rosie did her best Chewie on the boot. Bless that women. Brownlow kicks from 50 Gooster beats a Dees amazing read of the ball 56-31. Dees get one back and again the commentators ain/t even pumping em up. Speedboy kicks out on the full, Sidie goes sharp from a Dees an amazing soccer from the Hyphen lands another goal, the the Hyphen wins a tap out from the Samurai and gets a two peat 68-37. Fred tells me the Dees goals are peppered while the Dees are saulted. Dole Cheques gets one more to close the quarter again the hi 5s are all over the shop but Sam says that shows passion
3 quarter time
We cut to the great man Barassi. I saw him recently near Fitzroy St, but thought don/t approach the great man unless he speaks to you first. Dees take a great mark, Hamish screams you beauty, as if people will be quoting him in years to come, fucking idiot can/t even think of anything original. As lame as Stephen Quartermains Leo Barry you star quote was, at least its original. Me and Pete take time out to praise the Shag, Pete says it’s a safe bet to go to the TAB and bet Pies for the flag and Shag for Norm Smith and Brownlow. What could go wrong? Son of Rowdy runs 30 meters a hell of a run passes to Pamela, ah I think hes found his mind. 84-55. John mentions despite the score the Dees ave not run out of legs and its a credit to em, but also how they/re coming but we/re not giving up the lead. We text Jason to ask if he remembers who the coach is. Me and Pete are also laying the seeds for Awards Night, GG will get best reference and tram tracker and taking the lights out. Speedboy Cox and Hyphen get goals as GGs Loaded fries come out and I raise the Shoehorn for victory.
Overall I solid performance, I think we can still play better, and while theres players to come in its gonna be interesting to see whose gonna go. I want Wills back. But they seemed tired so hopefully the week off will do em good. They/ve earned it. Will also be interesting to see how many votes the Shag gets, im guessing 7 votes from this game. As said the boys need a week off but fuck so do we. We really need that camp to get us up for starch for the run home.
Thanks for reading, Onyas
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