Now. In case you didn/t hear Stiflers Brother (ol mate Gil) a few weeks ago, there aint no footy until at least the end of May but that looks increasingly unlikely given whats going on in the world. I don/t know, I aint no expert and im not gonna preach anything, like everyone I hope this is sorted and over with sooner rather than later. And I aint no expert or doctor, so listen to the doctors and medical experts, stay inside and listen to the Fall. Ok the Fall comment may not ave been addressed by WHO or the AMA, but it will help.
So with no footy theres no footy to rant on. Well, theres no games to rant on theres plenty in football to rant on as always. Such as this players pay dispute. I stopped watching the news ages ago so I ave no idea if this is resolved or not. But fuck, what a pack of selfish cunts. One bloke came out and said, oh I need to pay my mortgage off. What you don/t think anyone else has bills or rent/mortgage to pay off? At least these guys can earn six figures and if smart would ave a bit of coin saved so I ave no sympathy for the players here. They should just be grateful they aint on the dole line at Centerlink, which several staff of several club had to do because of this. As a kid it was my dream to run out on the MCG or Victoria Park with a Collingwood jumper. I never thought of making big money or any money, it was my dream to represent the club I supported all my life. Granted a serous smoking habit stopped dream but thats neither here nor there. And thats what it should be, being lucky enough to wear the jumper of the team you love, not a means of making more money the average punter in the stands could ever dream of making. My grandfather was lucky to ave trained with Essendon, the team he loved when he was 18. He never got to play for em but he would never trade that for anything. You think he was asking about money? Fuck no, he knew what an honour and a privilege that was, and with fools like Dangerfield it seems all gimme gimme gimme. Chris Scott I gotta say did a noble thing taking a cut so several of the rank and file staff at Geelong could stay on and work. And I never thought id write this, but im with Kane Corns on this, it is poor taste for Dangerfield coming out and demanding to see the AFL Books. And as Corns said, zip it, deal with it and be grateful you/re in a very fortunate position. Not that a lot of them would be thankful.
And then theres the membership fiasco, with Eddie n Tony Jones going at it on the telly, with Eddie accusing Jones of going for clickbait or a headline or something like that. Well, I think you did that to yourself Eddie carrying on like ya did. He basically said yeah we/ll give the money back if you really need it but deep down inside we really want to keep your cash. Look Ed, I get it, membership money is a huge chunk of coin for the club, but this is a situation like none other. As said people lining up for Centerlink and with no end in sight, its totally fair for people to say can we ave our money back. And Ed, we/re doing pretty well on the money front so I don/t think the Pies are in any position to cry poor. The other clubs that don/t ave Collingwood I feel for and hope they can survive but for us at the Pies, I think we/ll manage. Like I said before, it/s a great game, but just a game and theres more important things in life, like aving a roof and food on the table, and with memberships minimum costing at least $200 that money is pretty crucial right now. So Ed, like Dangerfield, except it, we/re gonna lose some money over this but we/ll be fine, just cop it and zip it.
Ok rant over. So with no footy currently being played, I though id sit and ponder about footy from the past and think of all the classic moments from the game. And by classic moments I mean classic moments of my and my mates down the pub or at the footy, watching from the cheap seats being idiots, because really, thats what footy is to me.
Bout five years ago a fella I worked with asked me to take him to the MCC members one day. Sure I said, knowing I would regret it. First of all he was late. It/s a Collingwood Carlton game. Neither team was doing particularly well at this point but still its always an event and a clash I look forward to, and here I am waiting for someone when I should be at the bar getting ready. Anyway he arrives, 10 minutes before the bounce. As per the dress code he/s wearing jeans and a shirt with a collar but his shirt is unbuttoned and he/s got a t shirt on underneath. This won/t sell I think, and as soon as we get in a MCC dress code inspector approaches him and asks him to button up which he says he cant because there aint no buttons. Fuck im already regretting this. He smooth talks his way past and we find some seats. So he was late, that’s strike one, strike two was talking to me during the game. Im all for banter, but not small talk you make at a pub or at the office when the actual game is on. Talk to me in the break for fuck sake. He comments I aint got much to say today. I was hoping my grunting and one word answers would give him the message but nah. And he didn/t buy me a beer! We/re down at quarter time, I say wait here i/ll be back. I ave nowhere to go but I had to get away. Fuck, the Pies are down and im stuck with this guy for another two hours. He somewhat gets the message in the second quarter and pipes down on the chatter. I break the seal before the half time siren, and run to the bar. I stand there bitting my scarf as the baggers get a late one to be well and truly in command at the main break. Not sure if im more annoyed at the fact ive got to go back to my seat or the fact we/re down and don/t look like winning. As I ponder this a feel a presence behind me. At five foot nothing, its none other than David Boon, in a baggers scarf. I stand there with my mouth open for a second, he just looks at me. Hes a smart man, he got here just as the siren sounded so he could beat the half time rush for a beer, and theres this shitkicker with sideburns with his mouth open not saying anything standing in his way. I continue to ave my mouth open as I slowly walk away. As I do I turn to Boonie and just look at him, thinking for fuck sake ay something. Instead I keep looking at him with my mouth open as I go back to my seat. As I get back my co worker asks me if we want to go to the general area so he can see his friends. Strike three, he aint coming back with me. He leaves and I enjoy the third quarter in peace before he returns. As we/re about 10 minutes into the last quarter we ave no chance to win so I take this as an opportunity to leave. He gives me some shit about being a bad sport but I cant take anymore from this fella so I just walk out. I mumble something like see you Monday. He replies no you won/t my last day was yesterday. I jump up and down inside and mumble i/ll call you. I never did.
Well with the Blues smashing the Pies and aving taken someone who got on my nerves it feels like nothing went right today. I head down back to St Kilda, I know the Pies members of bookclub would ave been watching the game from the Gay Bar so I pop in to see if there still there. I. finally get to see some people I want to talk to. I see Jackie and Pete, not looking to happy, and don/t blame em after a bad loss. All of a sudden they look at me as if ive turned water into wine. Or made corn beef man smile. Both impressive feats in their own right.im thinking why so happy to see me, as I get closer to the table I see theres Fred, with a paper. Fuck me ive just showed up in time for a quiz. Oh today hasn/t been a write off after all. Fred gives me some words of wisdom, saying he thinks its best to get a beer. We laugh and roar through the Saturday superquiz. A bloke with his partner decided to show how smart he is by answering a question. And correctly I might add. Now when we do the quiz at the Bala there are plenty of stoopid questions, i.e. how many minutes in an hour? So we muck around with stoopid answers and try to amuse one another. Often when a new comer comes and tries to play seriously we pull them aside and say hey getting all the answers right is not how this quiz works. They often come back to the table aving read the minutes and with a new attitude and the quiz can get back to normal. With this guy answering a correct answer we sit stunned with no choice but to give him points and move on. He does it again for the next question but when we shout out answers like Chad and Out of Africa he turns his head in defeat, and mumbles enjoy your quiz. Oh we did. So much so we all got cut off in the end. Something wonderful came from something shit.
I wasn/t until 2019 I brought people back to the footy. Had a blast with Fred and Sam and GG but after the story above I was off brining people to the footy. Mind you I briefly had a period when I did enjoy bringing people to games, and I owe it all to my dear friend Josie Jo. I hadn/t taken anyone for awhile, my now Dingley correspondent and I used to go quite regular, but he kept bailing on me because he kept picking me over a girl, a girl he thought he had a chance with. Of course I knew they he had no chance but being the good friend that I am I said nothing and thought he shoud find out from her he had bucks chance of hooking up. And he did eventually,. When he came crawling back to me I got used to going solo so I said cant, sorry. I met Jo at Pure Pop and became farst friends. When I mentioned I was MCC member she said we should go to a game one day. I was like ah, this is a serious test of the friendship. But she was perfect. When the game was on we spoke about nothing but the game, had a nice half time meal of pie n chips. Well, I mean I had a meal, Jo wouldn/t ave eaten that junk. And she was an absolute joy as always to be around. Not since my dad taking me to the footy as a kid did I feel happy being around someone at a game. I did let my guard down and let others with me, like the story above and the time I took a mate who didn/t show up until the second quarter (oh i/ll get to that). So Jo, thanks for being a perfect companion and giving me faith in humanity again.
Now. Round 2017 (im guessing really ave no fucking idea when this was) its Freo Vs the Pies over there. Fred and Pete are here and Terry and George are here representing Freo. It/s a nail bitter, one kick separates em as we head to the final minutes. Fyffe is free and bombs it from 70 out. It falls short of being out of bounds as we see two players from each club lock each other in. as the ball is about to drop the telly turns to black. Fuck. We run downstairs and see the telly is also off there. We ask Sef the landlord the fuck? Oh I turned the printer on he said. Fuck turn it off. We get the footy back in time to see the Pies run down the clock and win. Fuck a piece of paper going through a printer almost saw us miss a victory. Ave missed goals and sirens due to breaking the seal and being stuck waiting for a drink, but never had a piece of paper going through a machine almost stop me seeing a W.
Two years ago we/re playing Carlton, I ask Jack Howard if he/s going to the game. He said he can/t as he has a gig with Nicky Del Rey that night. So the Pies get up, I jump on the train and arrive at Lyrebird for the second set of Nicky and Jack. I get to the bird literally 10 minutes after the siren and walk straight to the bar as the two are mid song. As waiting to be served I hear NO NO. I turn around and see Jack pointing at me, saying no don/t serve him. Of course it was all done in good humour and fun, and that kind of fun and games with friends from rival clubs and Pies fans are what im missing now.
So thats it for now, i/ll ponder some more stories next week and write em down. And im sure Gil will say something I get vent about
Stay safe and GO PIES