Now. Sorry for no rant last week. My notes were a mess and while I watched the game didn/t get to focus much so was a bit of a mess. But we won, thats all that matters. Highlights include Tim asking me to give him a mention, then telling us all to get fucked as he went to watch the Blue, and Kev saying that Wide Open Road by the Triffids always seems to come on when hyes stuck in traffic, which he calls worse than a Collingwood win. And massive thanks to Jen for avng us, love ya work, so Onya Jen. and Fi wants to know whats the deal with the glitter on the shorts? i dunno….
But now, a few days after the game we find out Sidie and Dunn were done (pun intended, or maybe not) for breaching Covid protocol. Now ive read people in and out of the club defending this, but the fact is, theres a fucking pandemic going on, and while it was nice they went to visit a teammate, everyone is stuck in this mess, so I ave no sympathy for these two fools for getting done for breaching protocol. They should ave stayed home like everyone else. Just goes to show you, when we need people to do a simple instruction because ts for the good of everyone, people cant do a simple instruction. Children can, but not adults. No wonder where fucked up as a species.
Sigh, no wonder people suck. Anyway on to the game.
I arrive with plenty of time to kill at Freds house, with Viv and Pete in attendance. It/s nice to relax before a game, where I don/t ave to wait for a beer and can sit in my seat and ave a fag and not run outside. When I first glance at the telly first thing I see is the three stooges BT Cunt Carey and Gils brother. BT is going on a rant about the colour of the balls and how the yellow ball for whatever reason is better, or I don/t now. He claims it is a special investigation. From the way he talks the only investigation BT will ever be able to figure out is if theres one where he can find out how to put his pants on, or how to use a doorhandle
Fred mentions that the samurai should ave a son and name him Reg, so we/d ave Reg Grundy playing for Collingwood. I approve of this. Anyway Pamela takes a good mark 30 out Bruce says hes confident but too far to the right and just drops short, Cox cant soccer, and is rushed for a minor to get us off the mark. Moore marks in the Centre Cox is the target no mark but given a free to the Matrix via Grub Green, such a shit bloke he is and he isn/t helping his reputation BT says the ball adds plenty. Plenty of what I don/t know. Giants point Howe to the hyphen. Bruce says hes Played a lot of footy. for fuck sake does anyone ever play AFL aving played no football? Cox mark not paid, Fred claims Howe will take the mark of the century in Perth against Geelong. Sidie as BT asks Jude about the Surface, real Mensa meeting that conversation was. Free to Howe in the Giants 50 as Giants get their second point. Samurai marks kicks to Daicos Brown Dole Cheque cant hang on loses the contest Wills to Howe Adams to Pamela , bad miss 2-2 Matrix. We got two Greens playing for the Giants, the Grub of course, and one named after the comedian that I loved as a kid. I know hes gonan say it, but Bruce says it, it aint easy being Green. You only can one chance to say that and Bruce has blown his load, can someone please tap him on the shoulder and say please go home. Shag gets a touch, three votes and tears the house down, Roughead causes a hole in the ground. , but BT says its beyond a hole, it’s a divot. I guess if he talks shit about footy he hes gotta be an expert at something. Giants butcher the ball, but Bruce claims it was ok not bad. He then goes onto say Shaw is a famous name at Collingwood. Wow hes clearly read Wikipedia today. So we the cut to Steve Waugh in the crowd. So he was invited but not me. Fuck sake. Mind you know Vic are welcome in NSW and Queensland, and being someone that never intended on leaving Victoria again im ok with that. Matrix to Cox, who runs awkwardly. The Giants ave a shot, Cunt Carey says geez he loves the ball in his hand. How much does he earn? BT says the kicks looks good, so of course it misses. Pete says he was there so why couldn/t he tell if it was a goal or not? Idiots that lot in the box, and theres still three quarters to go.. Adams to the Gooster Pamela, third time lucky. Pies down by one. Giants go 50 Krebbs Shag Billy to Pamela, hes going for a three peat and that will do us for the first break. Oh and me Pete and Fred are rusty on the Hi 5s, we need to work on em, or book in another camp.
And just when you thought you/d heard it all. Bruce claims blokes want to get the ball. Why isns/t he coaching with that kind of knowledge. Shag is given a free, Fred points out hes got votes for next weeks game too. Ball goes over on the full, we get the slow mow replay. Even with slow moti0on replay BT is still wrong imagine that?. Stoopid free, so finally I get to say the line. FUCK OFF RAZOR. Giants goal. Sigh. BT blames the ball because why not? Gooster marks 35 out. Giants ave a shot and miss, Pies down by 1, Fred claims its still anyones game. SON OF Rowdy to the Hyphen we discuss if we do hyphen before or after. Doesn/t matter he misses Cameron has a shot, Carey claims he needs a good kicking on the ball. Uh, I thought you/d handball it for a goal, shows what I know. Sidie kicks to 50 no one home Cox finds it Gooster cant mark Throw in Daicos bang 22 all. Donkey Kick from Cox BT says goodness gracious me, bet hes been sitting on that to say, green goals Carey says he knew where the goals where. Nobel prize winning team here. Bruce says something good usually happens with the grub. Like what, poaking a blokes eye out, hes a shit bloke, always will be, I don/t care if he can kick a ball. Fuck him and his dickhead dad. Again we cut to Cox and BT claims he was Kung FU Fighting. Fuck I can/t even be bothered coming up with any statement for that. Samurai to Wills Crisp bang 28 all. We need Crisps for this celebration, Fred has twisties instead. Hi 5s are betting this time . What, we aint we on the Zoom thing on channel 7? Why aint we on? Maybe it was the Fuck off Razor comment they pulled the plug. Fred again claims its anyones game. With scores levelled at half time, he might be on to something.
Fred breaks the seal at this point. Pete provides dinner, party pack of pies and sausage rolls, as well as the sauce. He tells me he knows aving been in hospo for three decades he knows what hes doing. Giants ave a shot BT says hes cursing himself. Im cursing someone for giving that man a mic.
I didn/t write much due to dinner. Pete says he shoud get guest of the week due to the party pack.. So my slab means nothing. We also take time to discuss Dole TV. Im told Cheers and Becker ave been taken off air for fuck sake, meanwhile Jake and the Fat Man is still on. At least MacGyver is on. Pete and Fred aint big on Frasier, which I don/t mind Can we please ave Phil Silvers on. Anyway Dole Cheque kicks two goals putting us within a single point, Bruce the Genus tells us the Pies might be in front ave 3 quarter time. Sakes
3 Quarter Time
We come out and score a point first up, to which Fred claims that next score will be in front. Ill take his word for that. Giants ball Bruce says hes a good kick so of course is shit. Cox marks 50 Pamela mess Matrix ball free I love you Razor, misses but in front another point would be good. But if giants get two points they’ll be in front Bruce says something and Carey says I was about to say that. Giants in front, Shag gets a crucial point, good dogging and ducking from the giants Howe is down knee looks bad big out that is. Jeremy has a shot BT says his favourite spot. Goals. Bucks got his haircut for nothing says Pete, as Fred asks me if I brought the shoehorn. I forgot sorry. Krebs marks 70 out finds cox big kick and we ave big hi 5 down by 2. Fred says next score wins. Shag taps to sidie Gooster held, Giants free Carey calls that big Bruce bangs on how important the clock is, and im about ready to quit as writing all this dribble is doing me head in
After the game we laugh ourselves stoopid to Robot Chicken and after about three episodes I stagger home, with the title of guest of the week between me and Pete still up in the air. Hard game to watch but had a blast with Fred and Pete and Viv as always, so was a top night
Howe is a massive loss going forward, hes a one off, no one can replace him. And now with Those idiots Sidie and Dunn out for a few weeks its gonna be a rough month ahead. Also the fact there were so many passengers on Friday didn/t help. Oh well, will see what happens with the Covid Cup next week